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"Tak perlu secantik Balqis ANDAI diri tak seindah Sulaiman,
Buat apa diharap kasih setulus Zulaikha ANDAI diri tak setampan Yusof,
Jangan dicari sekuat Siti Hajar dan Siti Sarah ANDAI diri tak seteguh Ibrahim,
Mengapa mahukan seistimewa Siti Khadijah ANDAI diri tak sempurna Rasulullah,
Jangan mencari kesempurnaan dari orang lain sedangkan diri sendiri penuh dengan kekurangan..."


Friday, February 26, 2010

Weirdness all over again...

It has been soooooo long since I last logged into blogger.com.

I just wanted to get something out of my chest today. I always get this weird feeling whenever this comes up.
I dreamt of him a few days ago. I had a real good sleep, crashed early around ten or eleven. It felt like I was brought into another world. I know I was dreaming, coz he was there. His features were still the same like how I remember him....curly hair, long face. It seemed like a long dream to me that night.
He didn't say a thing nor look at me in the eye. But he was there alright. I didn't hear his voice either. But I remember feeling hesitant...worried...
We were in a car, he was driving. He wanted to take me & see his mother. I felt awkward, coz it has been decades.
I got worried.... I thought about my husband. I worry that something's gonna happen and separate us. I realize and know with all my heart that I deeply love my husband. And he...he was just a memory now.
We did get to meet his mother in that dream. But it didn't change the way I feel, being hesitant and worried all over again. I got up in the morning and felt so weird with what I had just encountered. His image just kept playing in my head the whole day.
I was lying in my bed last night. I began counting....he was 26 when he died....and I was only 21 when I lost him.
~End~

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