Weirdness all over again...

It has been soooooo long since I last logged into blogger.com.

I just wanted to get something out of my chest today. I always get this weird feeling whenever this comes up.

I dreamt of him a few days ago. I had a real good sleep, crashed early around ten or eleven. It felt like I was brought into another world. I know I was dreaming, coz he was there. His features were still the same like how I remember him....curly hair, long face. It seemed like a long dream to me that night.

He didn't say a thing nor look at me in the eye. But he was there alright. I didn't hear his voice either. But I remember feeling hesitant...worried...

We were in a car, he was driving. He wanted to take me & see his mother. I felt awkward, coz it has been decades.

I got worried.... I thought about my husband. I worry that something's gonna happen and separate us. I realize and know with all my heart that I deeply love my husband. And he...he was just a memory now.

We did get to meet his mother in that dream. But it didn't change the way I feel, being hesitant and worried all over again. I got up in the morning and felt so weird with what I had just encountered. His image just kept playing in my head the whole day.

I was lying in my bed last night. I began counting....he was 26 when he died....and I was only 21 when I lost him.

~End~